Tua dah saya, dah puluhan, I feel old awwwwh :X
Getting older, getting wiser. I guess being in twenties really mess up your mind. I had soo much thoughts on my mind about future, akhirat, bakal lelaki saya, mak bapak saya, nama anak-anak saya, well meh. Randomness.
A Level. Saya rasa kepala nak meletup dah ni fikir pasal A Levels. Uni application la, result exam tak semengah la, lepastu banyak gilerrrrrrrrrrrrr lagi chapter nak baca, I feel like ughhhh susahnya nak dewasa. Lepastu, pujuk diri, read quotes on Quran or internet or everywhere, getting the strength from everywhere. Ni dekat bahu ni, penuh harapan mak ayah abang adik-adik makcik pakcik, Allahu berat den rasa, berat. Takpe, Allah yusahil. InsyaAllah Allah mudahkan, kan? If you happen to read this, amin kan lah ok?
Tapi seriuslah, huuuuuuuuuu TT TT Alevels ni berat siket. Rasa macam nak berderai air mata pun ada. Rasa macam ambil SPM all over again, tapiiiiiiiiii tinggal lagi few months je tau. *literally drowning in tears*
And I'm 20 already, I can't afford to see people leaving me~~~~~~ like really leaving me, tak contact la apa la, no-no please don't. Stay. Please. I think I've been strong enough for past two years, seeing my bestfriends, my loved ones, leaving me for their life. Well, that's fine. Because I am fine too. Tapi, not now. I have the best people around me, with me now. I don't think I could handle goodbye very well from now on, so please. Tak kira lah, awak lelaki ke, awak perempuan ke, kalau saya jenis suka membebel dekat awak, saya rapat dengan awak, saya suka kawan dengan awak, STAY. I lost too much people these years, sedih tahu tak. Saya rileks je dekat luar, tapi god knows perasaan itu bila saya buka balik gambar lama, texts lama. Maybe, ada hikmahnya. Tu zaman jahilliah. Ok. Now dah tak jahilliah sangat, saya ok, dan saya tahu (insyaAllah) batas saya. So awak semua rileks, dan stay.
dah serupa gaya merayu dekat boifren dah ni -- lek. Tak sempat nak bercinta ha tader masa tader kudrat gua nak A Levels kepala nak meletup dah tahu tak.
entahlah, saya rasa saya dah matang. In many ways. Tapi paling obvious, bab-bab keluarga ni. Oh Tuhan. Berkatilah keluarga ku, dengan penuh kasih sayang. Ameen.
Ok tu je, bye. Asssaaaalaaaaaaaamualaikum.
(Guna bahasa saya, because 'gua' is too gangster. I'm not gangster anymore. Dah feminin sket loll)